The poem.

Hello readers. I just wanted to keep you informed. i turned in my application to study at Alabama A&M university next year. i am very excited and want you to be excited for me too. this is what i need. believe in me. if there is anything i need more than this change its to have someone believe in me.
maybe thats why i post, false hope? who knows? i sure dont and couldnt explain the relief i find when throwing it all out here for you. pointless ramblings about a nothing day but the fact that people read it and hear about it and care enough its like knowing you crossed someones mind and that feeling is gold.
anyway folks, i decided today is the day to let you in on my poetic gold. i have a few works im especially proud of but this is something i love very much and matters alot to me. before i just throw it out here i think you should know what im speaking about. it is my mom(typical) and um the funny thing is that your sense of smell is your keenest sense. well i know my moms smell. i dont know what it is or what perfume it was but to me it smells like coastline. when i smell it i close my eyes and i can go back to stepping off a plane. i see shades of pale blue and oceanic waves. everything is fine and i have my heroine. i think there were seashells on the bottle or something because i will argue that its the smell of seashells. i dont know what it is but its so soothing and its so rare that i get to smell it but its such an unmistakeable scent that i am sometimes blessed with. anyway this is about how i feel when i smell it. and also how i've basically chased nothing but that smell and a bunch of memories around the country to find what i did. i wrote it last year.... here we go. i hope you love it as much as i do.



Chasing Seashells-Revision
The memory of your seashells drive me
Wild, hauntingly taunting me with
Hollow victories and impossible dreams.
My mind has blocked off your view and
Yet my heart remains relentless.

Every picture I have is all that’s left, and all I have
Does not have you in it. But dancing,
in the background are your sea shells
once such a small matter and today
a lifeline.

The faint scent of coastline, and salt
And your perfume resonates
around me as a woman walks by
without a thought of my mother. She doesn’t know
She’s fooled me.

The memories of life flood me uncontrollably,
Until I attempt to recall you, I have nothing more
Than your unforgettable redolence,
I forever chase your seashells.

I’m always chasing, trying to complete myself.
Forever grasping at gusts and
Unanswered questions.
Wayward perfume sprays and
Floating, blind memories.
Forever the reoccurring question met with
Imitated patience.

You are the impossible destination.
Invisible to my mind’s eye
while blazing blue in my hearts target.
Rolling with the tide, clinging to
Young dreams speckled with dust and
a failing reality.
You evade me.

You must have known that I’d find you mom
If only my dreams could sprout wings
And my love could pilot those wings
So I could catch you before the dawn and yet
Once again
You would be gone.